"Incident at McDuck Tower"

[Jakob Soederbaum]

Don:

> This showed someone's misunderstanding of logic and timing in sequencial
> storytelling. That why it puzzled/worried me more than some other sort of  
> goof... thinking that any of this would seem "right"
> to any comics editor.

Hmm, alrightythen. ;-)  But don't you think someone was helping you get
another gag, instead of just establishing someone *did* shut the window,
which the reader already is too aware of? Insider-jokes are always great
- *if* the reader is aware of such matters. A superior example is the
story in which Byron shows up in the door of a comics shop in one
pannel. That was rich. But when there is room for another gag, like here
in the "Incident"- story (that one even can sense is coming from the
previous page), and the only thing you get to know is that the boss
noticed the window was shut by his secretary... NO, if *I'd* been
reading that script before the printing I would've insisted on
re-writing that. The more gags the better, I think. Usually, your
stories *are* jam-packed with gags -and that's the way it should be.
Don't miss out on one. ;-)

Btw, in the D&$ publication, the dialogue is changed to be a little more
faithful to your script, however not exact:

- Did I just hear you shut the window, Gretta!
- Yes, it was getting too drafty!

Just for your information.

Also, I think your original words in the end-scene are better as a gag,
but is it really good as the final line of the story? The re-written one
is worthless as a gag of its own, but it does sum up the entire story in
a good way, doesn't it? But of course it's always annoying when someone
makes changes to a script that, if I understand it correct, already was
approved.

In the Swedish translation U$ says... hmm, it's quite hard to translate
directly, as it's a Swedish proverb. But the meaning is something
between "Mind your own business, will you!" and "Why are you always so
interested in what *I'm* doing?". 


All the best,
/Jakob Soederbaum


http://home4.swipnet.se/~w-47991/DonRosa/TOCIVARD