Scrooge -- did he really make it square?

Lunnan & Hjort brit.lunnan at chello.no
Sun Apr 29 10:01:59 CEST 2001


Kevin Clark discusses aspects of Scrooge's personality (in an
earlier message today). He quotes the familiar
<<Scrooge made his fortune by being smarter than the smarties,
and tougher than the toughies, and he made it SQUARE! >>
and adds: <<The stories which suggest otherwise clearly did not
happen as recorded ... Most likely, these stories began as
anti-Scrooge propaganda. >>

Yes, this is a familiar and often-repeated point of view, with which
Scrooge himself would like us to agree. But is it true, ladies and
gentlemen of the business ethics jury, fully true? Who amongst us
can claim such a track record, _never_ having cheated on others
to have some extra money, to gain a business advantage, or to avoid
paying some inconvenient tax or toll or bus money? Never having
crossed the finely balanced dictae of law and morality? Is the
working life of Scrooge McDuck (b. 1867), citizen of Duckburg,
Calisota that spot free?

Yes, members of the jury, it is highly likely that this in many ways
admirable person even believes his own extravagant claim about
"and I made it SQUARE!" himself (when he expresses it).
But is this a result of convenient selective memory? If he dives deep
into the darker crevasses of his long-lived mind, with the help of
relatives, psychologists, hypnotherapists or historians (that's us,
fellow readers!), do we then sense shadows of acts and business
deals that have not been fully legal and moral?

(Yes, I actually spent yesterday in an Oslo court, as a "lay judge",
and enjoyed the process. I'm now taking the inspired role of district
attorney, prosecutor & procurator.)

I invite you, members of the Law & Ethics Supreme Court, fellow
archeologists and historians, to consider this question in its full gravity.
I wish to put it to you that yes, there are skeletons in Scrooge's closet.
My honoured opponent, defense attorney Kevin Clark at the
Magician Zero Law Office, will have his chance at countering my
evidence later on. But first it is my procuratorial duty to present
you with the necessary incriminating evidence. I shall call your attention
to Grave Incidents in Scrooge's life, and shall endeavour to do so
after a necessary break in the court's proceedings. I also call on
fellow historians, readers and witnesses to help the attorney in
this process. Please place your reports and arguments, in reasonable
brevity and with precise literary references, to the DCML.
The Supreme Court administrator has warned us that apocryphical
material will be considered evidence to be overruled, so discussion
must be limited to documents prepared from 1947 to 2001 by
only the most trusted reporters on aspects of Scrooge's life,
to wit, Carl Barks, Don Rosa, and possibly also Tony Strobl and
Marco Rota (the court will decide on this on a case by case basis).
Readers, you have been challenged.

Nils Lid Hjort




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